Thursday 3 December 2009

When I Am Famous...

...which I will be soon, very soon, this blog will be of great interest to many people. I am writing now for posterity, which makes me a chronicler, a testifier, a kind of prophet, even; I am like one of Jesus' buddies, but with more TopMan paraphernalia.

So, for your delectation, I present a snapshot of my current, tax payer-funded existence. This was taken just before my flatmates and I went out to eat at an extremely well-reviewed restaurant in the nearby Portugese district. I had just spent my weekly subsistence allowance in the purchase of a new coat (pictured, right); I consider it an appropriate use of the money, because it will keep me warm during my pursuit of employment, and it will no doubt impress prospective employers at interview, despite being slightly too large for me (this is the smallest coat that was available; how long an arm is a man supposed to have?).

Nick is also on what used to be known as "the dole," and he had just procured for himself the fetching purple trousers and blue shoes you can see him wearing here. We live like kings; we behave like rodents. All is well.

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